【テンプレート公開】TOEFL「ライティング」の攻略法を解説

・公式問題集やETSのHPにある採点基準
・『TOEFL Practice Online − Volume ～～ Complete Practice Test』（ETSのサイトから4000円程度で購入）を使って、採点してもらう
・TOEFLで点数を取った人に添削をしてもらう

・英文を読む（３分）
・それに関する講義を聞く（２分程度）
・それぞれの内容を150～225字でまとめる（20分）

　　The reading passage argues that ～～. However, the lecturer casts doubt on the argument, denying each of the three theories.
　　To begin with, the author argues that ～～. However, the lecturer provides a different perspective. ～～.
　　Secondly, the reading passage argues that ～～. However, the lecturer questions this theory. ～～.
　　Thirdly, the author argues that ～～. However, the lecturer casts doubt on the argument. ～～.

導入（70文字）
　The issue of ～～ is a vital concern for each of us. ～～. However, in my opinion, ～～.
論点１（150文字）
　First of all, ～～.
論点２（150文字）
　Secondly, ～～.
まとめ（50文字）
　In conclusion, I support the argument that ～～.

（テーマ）”Do you want to study alone or in groups?”
（主張）”I want to study alone.”
（根拠）”I can study anytime.” “I can feel comfortable when I am alone.”

（テーマ）” Which is better, paper books or e-books”
（主張）” E-books are better.”
（根拠）”I can read anytime.“ “It is useful because they are easy to carry.”

The issue of transportation is a complex and controversial one. Different people hold different views due to their respective angles. On one hand, as is well stated and has been advocated, people will use fewer cars in twenty years. On the other hand, others probably argue that they will own more cars. In the following analysis, I would like to reason and provide reasons favoring the latter and refuting the former.
→・もし、最近この導入を使い始めたとしたら、やめたほうが良い。テンプレートであることがばれてしまう。
・use fewer carsの逆は、ownではない。所有はしてもいいので、使うかどうか、ということがポイント。use fewer cars or otherwise.ということ。
・また、people will useとは書かれていません。there will be … in useとあるので、そのまま書く。あえて言い換えをする必要はない。言い換えをしたことでニュアンスを変えてしまう危険のほうが怖い。

To begin with, the reason for my fundamental idea is as follows: cars will be environmentally friendly. At first glance, we will refrain from driving cars due to their bad effect on the environment. Cars have produced a lot of CO2 which has led to global warming. However, the development of technology will help car companies to produce cars that do not have a negative impact on the planet. It is estimated that such cars can run, making use of not gasoline but water or electricity. If we drive these cars, there are fewer possibilities to damage the environment than now. Besides, the more cars that are environmentally friendly are manufactured, the more we can purchase cars.
→実質的なポイント（なぜ車が減らないのか、どう環境に悪いのか、どう解決されるのか）がdevelopされることなく、余計な部分ばかりが並んでいる。
その答案のポイントが埋もれてしまうため、raterは読みづらく感じる。

In the second place, there is another reason for me to choose the latter. The reason is that we will drive cars more safely. It is true that there are a huge number of accidents caused by drivers. Especially these days, the number of car accidents caused by elderly people has been dramatically increasing. However, cars equipped with new technology have made it easier for us to drive safely. When we are about to hit another car on roads, cars with new technology will reduce the possibility to cause accidents by giving us an alarm or making cars’ speed down. With these cars, everyone, including from young people to elderly people, can drive in a much safer way than now.
→このパラグラフは、ほとんど意味がない。安全なことと購買意欲とを結ぶセンテンスがないから。
安全に運転できるようになる、という予測を述べているだけで、それが自動車の販売台数増にどのように影響するか、の分析が必要。

Thirdly, the important reason that can be presented to develop my statement is that car drivers can make use of time more freely. Admittedly, car ownership has caused us some problems. Some cannot invest a lot of time studying or doing jobs while they drive. Others do not have enough parking space near their houses. Nonetheless, according to research conducted by Harvard University, people can own self-driving cars in ten or twenty years. Driving these cars will allow us to make use of driving time for our interests since we do not have to concentrate on driving. People who are busy businessmen or university students will own their self-driving cars.
→この段落も、前の段落と同様、意味をなしていない。

In conclusion, I would like to stress the possibilities of using cars in the future because cars will be more environmentally friendly, they will be safer, and they will provide people with free time. As the above-stated reasons, which intertwine to form an organic whole and thus have been more compelling, I safely arrive at the conclusion.
→ここも、テンプレートであることがわかる。
テンプレートを使うときには、その文言が、真に、自分の書いた内容を表しているか、を確認しなければならない。これが違うと、やはり、読むraterとしては大いに違和感を持ってしまう。

The issue of transportation is a vital concern for each of us. Different people hold different views due to their respective angles. With their detrimental effects on society, it is predicted that fewer cars are to be used in twenty years. However, in my opinion, technology will solve the problems that conventional cars have caused thus far. There will be more, as opposed to fewer, cars in use than there are today.
・先ほど挙げた枠組みのうち「technology」を使って書いている。

First of all, cars will be evolved to be more environmentally friendly, thus reducing consumers’ concern about their environment. Traditionally, cars run on gas, made of oil, so their exhaust gas is a major cause of climate change, let alone air pollution. However, the car industry will not dampen the demand for cars. Technology helps. Currently hybrid cars have come into wider use, with consumers being aware of their fuel efficiency and their less harmful impact on the environment. The industry is also working on the availability of water and hydrogen as the main fuel, their new products ready to be put on the market within the range of ten to twenty years’ time. Governments have also introduced a new measure to reduce the tax of environmentally friendly automobiles. If this trend continues, and I believe it does, there will be little reason for consumers to reconsider owning a car.
・１段落で書いた「テクノロジー」→「環境」で、内容がdevelopされている。
「環境によい」→「昔から車は、環境に悪い」→「テクノロジーが解決」→「環境に良い車がつくられる」→「政府も協力」→「もっと車を持つ人は増える」

Secondly, cars will provide people with safety and free time. Now, cars can cause accidents. Some elderly citizens step on the accelerator when they want to stop. Even young drivers cannot stop because of the speed. Besides, while driving, they cannot make use of time well. They have to focus only on driving. However, consumers will not get away from cars. Technology helps　at this point, too. Self-driving cars will allow us to drive more safely. When we are about to hit another car on roads, cars with new technology will reduce the possibility to cause accidents by making cars’ speed down by lowering the speed automatically. Self-driving cars will also give people plenty of time. With fully autonomous cars, people do not have to focus on driving. Rather, they can enjoy their travel time while they are driving. With these safety measures installed as standard features, consumers have little reason to refrain from driving.
・１段落で書いた「テクノロジー」→「安全性と時間」で、内容がdevelopされている。
「安全性と自由な時間」→「現在は、お年寄りによる車の事故がある」→「運転中は時間も上手く使えない」→「テクノロジーが解決」→「自動運転により安全になる」→「自動運転により、移動中も楽しめる」→「もっと車を持つ人は増える」

In conclusion, I support the argument that more cars will be in use in the future because environmentally-friendly cars will decrease a concern about the environment and self-driving cars will enable people to use cars safely and freely.
・２，３段落の内容を、簡単にまとめる。

自分の言葉として使える表現を増やす